Aching and Longing to be Part of Someone Else's Family.
I don't believe my mother has ever put up a Christmas tree, or bought anyone of us presents. The material objects are not really relevant, but the lack of interest to make a day special surely does. I use to think that it was a lack of money that prevented her from caring about Christmas, presents, a tree, etc. At the beginning no one would buy gifts because we would go to Mexico every Christmas for 2-3 weeks up until my grandmother (father's mother) got sick and died. Then we stopped going altogether. So any money my parents had would be spent on that trip. I have to say that spending Christmas in Mexico, not inside of our own house with my mother's hoarding problem, was a massive relief. My aunt would set the table and it looked somewhat festive. My mother has never perfected the art of setting a table with nice dinner plates, nice ironed fabric napkins (or even some festive paper ones!), nice silverware, nice wine glasses, beautiful appetizers, a good bottle o...
